Breaking my silence

I’m finally breaking my silence.

About what, you may well ask.

And why was I being silent in the first place?

I’m not sure I have the answers to your questions. All I know is that at least once a day, every day, I see a headline that says “(Insert famous celebrity name here) breaks silence on (insert tragedy/allegation/stupid remark-Facebook post-Tweet/racist rant/untimely death here).”

Today’s? “Luke Perry’s Daughter Breaks Silence After His Death.” Saying that someone breaks their silence is suggesting they were deliberately withholding their opinion/statement/comment, instead of, you know, taking four or five minutes to actually GRIEVE FOR THEIR FATHER!!!!!

And another from today. “R. Kelly breaks silence on sexual assault” Here’s an example of someone who really was deliberately withholding his comments and then, inexplicably, decided to have a little chat with a reporter, if a morning show host can actually be described as a “reporter,” and blame parents for “selling” their children to him and, you know, PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE KEPT HIS MOUTH SHUT!!!!!

As an old newspaper person (for you young’uns, there used to be real news, written by real reporters, and printed on paper that was delivered to your house, and you could hold it in your hands while sitting on the toilet, and could use it in an emergency, about which we will NOT break our silence), I keep wondering why headline writers can’t come up with something other than “Breaks Silence,” which is kind of lazy and for the most part misses the nugget of gold. For instance, the R. Kelly “BREAKS HIS SILENCE” headline is sorta burying the lead. HE’S BLAMING PARENTS FOR SELLING THEIR CHILDREN TO HIM, FOR GOODNESS SAKES! Shouldn’t that maybe be the hook to the story?

So, anyway, I’m breaking my silence today about … uh, my new book, “My Grave Is Deep.” I can’t believe it’s not at the top of the New York Times bestsellers list by now. I mean, come on people!

Sorry, but I just can’t be silent anymore.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s